15 Gentlemanly Acts – The Lost Art

In today’s online dating world the art of behaving like a gentlemen can get lost in all of the instant messages, snap chats and Facebook pokes.  These modern luxuries have dulled most men’s ability to treat a woman the way a woman deserves to be treated. Granted the modern girl has not helped her cause, casting away the respectable gentlemen and choosing the arrogant loser who cares only for himself and treats her like a second rate date.

But if you are looking to impress a modern woman, rather than a girl, you’re in the right place.  Take these 15 tips and use them every chance you get.  After all, practice makes perfect.  After some time these techniques will become second nature and the women you meet will not know what hit them.

1. Stand up when she walks into the room…

This is a general sign of respect. In the military it is customary to stand when a senior ranking member walks into the room. By standing to greet your woman when she enters the room you are sending her all kinds of signals.  You’re telling her that she is important, special and respected. It also shows the group of beta males around that this is your woman and she is to be respected.

2. Help her with her coat…

Yes, she is probably capable of donning or removing her own coat. But this custom dates back to when women wore many more layers with restrictive Corsets.  Nowadays, the woman’s range of motion is not as restricted.  That said, she will still appreciate the gentleman who helps her with her coat.

3. Open the door for her…

There are practical reasons for this both in history and today.  In history the man would hold the door of a carriage open for a woman so she could focus on keeping her dress out of the mud.  Today you hold the door open for your woman because it is a sign of protection and strength.  And in many cases strength is meant literally.  There are a lot of heavy doors out there. Why make your woman strain to open these when you should be opening them for her.

4. Pick up the check!

This should really go without saying but you’d be surprised how many little boys are out there waiting for their date to pay for dinner.  By picking up the check you are taking the opportunity to show your woman that you are financially stable. It also is another non-verbal way to show you care and that she matters to you.

5. Give her your jacket…

Women have a knack for the subtleties in life.  Unfortunately for you, she also expects you to have at least a small ability to notice her subtle cues.  Well the good news is, gentlemen, shivering is not a subtle cue.  Pay attention on the cold nights. If she’s shivering give her your coat.  The amount of points you score in this moment is well worth your own shivers for a few hours.

6. Pull out her chair for her…

This is as timeless as holding hands. However, in recent years this technique has seemly been forgotten.  Tying in to number 7, “Never sit before her”, you might as well use your time wisely and help her sit.  It’s yet another sign of respect, but also a non-verbal cue signaling to her that you offer a certain level of sincerity.

gentleman with his girl on dinner

7. Never sit before she sits…

Usually respect is something shown rather than said.  You can say things like Miss, Madame, please and thank you; those are a must. But the funny thing about communication… most is non-verbal. A true gentlemen will wait to seat himself until his woman is seated. This is a signal that her needs come first.

9. Give up your seat to her if there is only standing room…

This isn’t just something us gentlemen should practice with our lady.  This is a general rule to follow in any situation, on a crowded train, a bus or even a waiting room.  Younger men who remain seated while women, elderly women and even elderly men stand give us all a bad name. With respect to your woman, do yourself a favor and give her the last seat when it’s standing room only.

10. He carries her bags…

It is to your benefit, Sir, that you’re lady looks her best.  Though many women are able to carry bags with great elegance, she is secretly asking why are YOU not helping her?  Take the weight off her shoulders, Lord knows she already bears the weight of all your worries as well as hers. The gesture is worth a thousand I love yous.

11. Never Criticize a home-made meal…

It was a sad day when I had to learn this one the hard way.  In making this mistake I sealed my fate of cooking my own meals for a few years. The sad part was, as a young bull, I had no idea I had messed up royally.  When a women cooks for you she is not just making you food. She is putter herself out there.  Because she is in a vulnerable state your critique, meaningless to you, has just cut deep.

12. Be on time…

It is important to your lady that you are on time.  I know, I know you will likely have to wait for her, but I have news for you. You will likely spend most of your life waiting on a woman. Their fashionable lateness is not a pass for you to also be late. Above all, your word as a gentleman is your bond.  If you say you’ll be somewhere at a certain time you need to mean it. Don’t crack her trust by failing at something so simple.

13. Walk by her on the outside, closest to the street…

This is an easy one to forget but with a little attention paid to detail this one will take you a long way.  By keeping her on the inside you are insulating her from the dangers that present themselves in the street, whether it is a car or a dubious character who seeks to do harm. From this position you stand the best chance to protect her and she knows it.

14. Allow her to order her own food and first…

In any restaurant worth its salt the waiter or waitress will do you a solid here.  But in the event you are left to this on your own. Allow your woman to order her own meal before you order yours.  This ties into the old adage, “ladies first”. If there are multiple women at the table let them all go first then sort it out between the men afterwards.

Let her order First.jpeg

15. The Gentleman asks her father for hand in marriage…

This is the ultimate test of your gentlemanly being. It can be nerve wracking to walk up to another man and essentially ask his permission for the responsibility of protecting and caring for his daughter.  Some fathers are easier than others.  If you have shown your soon to be father-in-law respect up to this point and he likes you, this may go smoothly for you.  If, on the other hand, your father-in-law hates you, you may want to soften him up a bit with a few bourbons and a public setting. Either way he will respect you for asking, and so will your soon to be Fiance.

In today’s world where many boys fail to develop into men, these simple principles will make it easy to be a cut above the rest. It’s important to keep in mind, not all woman will be receptive to these timeless techniques. But I can assure you of one thing. The women out there worth keeping will respond in kind to these simple gentlemanly gestures.

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